July 11, 2024
001
truth is
Some days are still hard. We are “over the worst of it” as they say. There are no more court hearings or forensic interviews to endure. We no longer face my daughter’s abuser and his supporters on a daily basis. We left our town and all of the people in it. A brand new start!
But, it’s still hard. So much of my daughter’s identity is still tied up in what happened. I wonder if the abuse caused as much damage as the aftermath. The loss of friends and family who would have preferred she suffer in silence and never speak out loud about what happened. But, I don’t think trauma is quanitfiable. I don’t think that we can measure one hurt against another. The truth is... most people don’t want to know the truth. Most are perfectly content living in their version of reality. Where victims are complacent in their own abuse and those who dare to speak out are condemned for doing so.
@truthis.info/blog
I don’t mean to sound bleak.
If you’ve stumbled upon this blog in hopes of finding inspiration or a light at the end of the tunnel, I want you to know that it does get better.
But, I’d be remiss if I said that childhood sexual assault doesn’t leave a scar. That it doesn’t start to be the thing that you identify yourself by.
After I learned of my daughter’s abuse, it forced me to open some closed up memories in the back of my mind. Of my own story. Of how I came to be the person I am today.
I am NOT defined by what happened to me. But, I am the person I am largely because of it. I hope that by sharing my story as a survivor and the mother of a victim I will help to end the stigma around this topic. This is not a “private matter” that should be handled behind closed doors. Afterall, behind closed doors is where the abuse occured.
I hope that you will join me in bringing light to this subject. Giving victims a safe space to share and heal. Allowing them their voice which has been stolen from them.
If there is one thing I really hope to change it is to give the power back to the victims. To allow them to tell their stories without judgement. To give them permission to heal without fear of retaliation. For too long we’ve been forced to stay quiet and keep the peace. Whose peace were we keeping?